[Intro - distant synth pulse, soft spoken vocal]

[Male]
There are things a man can hide
There are things you can't deny

[Female]
And when every chair becomes your enemy
You know it's time to ask why

[Verse 1 - Male, restrained]

I told myself it would pass
Just another little sting
But every time I sat back down
I felt that same old thing

I changed the chair
I changed my jeans
I blamed the way I slept

But somewhere deep behind me
There was one appointment left

[Pre-Chorus - Female]

You can wait
You can hope
You can tell yourself you're fine

But if the pain keeps coming back
You have to draw the line

[Chorus - Both, euphoric melodic techno]

If it hurts when you sit down
If it hurts when you stand
If your ass keeps sending signals
That you don't quite understand

Don't suffer in the silence
Don't pretend it's all okay
If you've got pain in your anus
Call the doctor today

[Drop - chopped vocal]

[Female]
Call the doctor

[Male]
Today

[Both]
Call the doctor today

[Instrumental Drop - driving kick, wide synth arpeggios]

[Verse 2 - Female]

There are words nobody likes
To say beneath fluorescent light
But doctors have heard everything
A thousand times a night

You take a breath
You tell the truth
You point to where it aches

And maybe what you feared for weeks
Is something simple to fix

[Pre-Chorus - Both]

[Male]
No shame

[Female]
No fear

[Male]
No reason to delay

[Both]
Your body sends a message
You should listen when it says

[Chorus - Both]

If it hurts when you sit down
If it hurts when you stand
If your ass keeps sending signals
That you don't quite understand

Don't suffer in the silence
Don't pretend it's all okay
If you've got pain in your anus
Call the doctor today

[Breakdown - minimal piano, atmospheric pads]

[Male, spoken]
"So... how long has this been going on?"

[Female, softly]
"A while."

[Male]
"And where exactly does it hurt?"

[Silence]

[Female]
"...my anus."

[Long pause]

[Male]
"Okay."

[Beat returns]

[Build]

[Female]
And suddenly the word
That seemed impossible to say

[Male]
Was just another symptom
In another working day

[Female]
No thunder

[Male]
No judgment

[Female]
No angels from above

[Both]
Just medicine, a rubber glove
And basic human love

[Huge Drop]

[Final Chorus - full euphoric techno]

[Both]
IF IT HURTS WHEN YOU SIT DOWN
IF IT HURTS WHEN YOU STAND
IF YOUR ASS KEEPS SENDING SIGNALS
THAT YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND

DON'T SUFFER IN THE SILENCE
DON'T PRETEND IT'S ALL OKAY
IF YOU'VE GOT PAIN IN YOUR ANUS
CALL THE DOCTOR TODAY

[Post-Chorus - layered vocals]

[Female]
No shame

[Male]
No fear

[Female]
No need to hide away

[Both]
If you've got pain in your anus
Call the doctor today

[Outro - soft synth pulse]

[Male]
Some things disappear with time.

[Female]
Some things need a doctor.

[Both]
Know the difference.